khabar dari tanah air~

salam alaik.

Al-Fatihah



dan kawan2 semua; hari ini agak menyedihkan buat saya.
sangat2 sedih. i'm writing this entry in the mercer library (RCSI); as, along my way here, i cried.

suppose, today should be a good day, as Majlis Syura Muslimum (MSM) buat rumah terbuka di UCD, as, i met new friends suma.

yet, when i went to Haizie house (my former roomate) and check my email,
there is an email from mom. (but i think its written by my sis).

as the e-mails goes:

salam..
tok wan zainol dh mningal kemarin
hr jumaat pkul 5.45 pg
dh tanam lepas asar
kt kubo blakang balai polis.
dkat ja ngan rmah tok wan
wk2 ney la bley tngok muka anak2 n cucu2 tok wan
yg slama ney x pnah nmpk, bkumpul kt rmah tok wan
kalu kt kubo lebih jelas sbb x ramai org org yg g mlainkn adik beradik sndri n supupu2 yg x diketahui kewujudan mreka kt atas muka bumi sblum2 ney.
lps ney tok wan dh x da.
ntah bila bley bkumpul mcm ney blik
mcm x mnkin ja

for the moment. i shocked. tergamam. kelu. bisu.

inalillah, wainnailahirajiun.. dari Allah datangnya kita, dan kepadaNya kita kembali.

yet, i remains silence, and pretending nothing happen in front of my friends, including my housemate and roomate; being me as usual, which there know.

until the moment, i went out heading the library tonight, the tears cannot be hold anymore; i'm crying in the public.

Tok Wan

personally, saya tak berapa kenal dan rapat sangat dengan tok wan zainol ini, which my father's dad.
sebabnye, die tinggal jauh dari rumah saya, which is baling; and he had many wife before, so, if i'm not mistaken; he live with her last wife there.

apa pun, he is the man which, a quarter of my genetic material compose and made of. he is my grandfather; even so me, myself tak punya banyak kenangan dengan beliau; yet, i gonna miss him.

terasa i'm being a bad grandson. honestly, as, before fly, tak sempat pun nak pergi jenguk2kan beliau.
tak sangka; tiba2 saja dia dah tiada.

ya Allah, tolong kuat2kan hatiku.
tolong tabahkan jiwaku.

dan ya Allah, Kau tempatkan tokwan di tempat mulia,
tempa yang Kau janjikan nikmat untuk hamba2Mu.
letakkan beliau bersama orang yang soleh dan memdapat syurgamu.

ya Allah, segalanya datangnya dariMu; kembali jua padaMu.

al-fatihan untuk tokwan.

sampai sini saja,
sendu dalam perjuangan,
kaito~